dinner time, Tom's feet are "dancing" a sure sign that his sugar is low. he is doing nothing wrong, but my stress level just jumped 200%
sigh
Monday, February 22, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
January Blues
Its February and I have been sick (some virus cold or flu) for almost a month. I have been to a doctor three times and while I am better, I am not great. Still sleeping a lot -- 12 hours a night! and while my cough is better, it is not gone. Sigh, I am tired of this. I got a flu shot and exercise and eat well and I don't hang out with kids.
Tom is doing the same, good most of the time but going low in the early evening. He just got a new pump and CGM -- there are some adjustments and he gets grumpy about the ones that he doesn't like, but it will be fine once he gets used to it.
Other than that exactly nothing is going on in my life except the normal. I am working on having a better outlook and thinking healthy thoughts.
Tom is doing the same, good most of the time but going low in the early evening. He just got a new pump and CGM -- there are some adjustments and he gets grumpy about the ones that he doesn't like, but it will be fine once he gets used to it.
Other than that exactly nothing is going on in my life except the normal. I am working on having a better outlook and thinking healthy thoughts.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Happy New Year and all the stress that comes with it
The holidays are over and now that its back to real life, its looking to be a bad year for me.
Tom continues his daily low blood sugar time right before dinner and sometimes later again. how does he manage at work?
My 86-year old uncle in Denver is not likely to live through the end of the year. My family is VERY close, and my cousins and I talk often. So that will be very sad.
My brother in law (66 years old) has cancer and is not doing well; back in the hospital. No sure how long he has.
Then there is my 90 year old mother-in-law who has breathing and walking problems. Not sure how much longer she will be able to stay in her home. Fortunately she pre-paid for next-level care and she is in North Carolina, so I don't have to participate directly in her care. whew!
AND, my mom who is 86 years old. She asked my sister and I to take her to urgent care and a doctor last week and this one. She has not seen a doctor in 50-years so it was shocking to all of us. she must be really sick. she was diagnosed with bronchitis and given meds. but she doesn't like taking them so she stopped before she was supposed to. the doctor understood her desire to take fewer meds and gave her some new ones to try. If she still feels badly next week, she should fill a new rx for an antibiotic - she doesn't need to see him again unless she wants to.
At first, I was unhappy about this approach, but now I get it. She is 86 and doesn't want to change her life too much. she gets to do that. we have no doubt that she is perfectly sane -- so that is not an issue. we just need to support her as best that we can.
I also have a potentially lucrative business opportunity which takes my time and attention and stress.
The weather is cold and we have many days of grey skies. I need to be careful with my own health. Depression is always just a step away. and of course I really don't want to get the flu or a cold! Sigh. At least i am still takng my deep water running class twice a week.
So I have a lot on my mind at the beginning of this year. But all i can do is take one day at a time.
Tom continues his daily low blood sugar time right before dinner and sometimes later again. how does he manage at work?
My 86-year old uncle in Denver is not likely to live through the end of the year. My family is VERY close, and my cousins and I talk often. So that will be very sad.
My brother in law (66 years old) has cancer and is not doing well; back in the hospital. No sure how long he has.
Then there is my 90 year old mother-in-law who has breathing and walking problems. Not sure how much longer she will be able to stay in her home. Fortunately she pre-paid for next-level care and she is in North Carolina, so I don't have to participate directly in her care. whew!
AND, my mom who is 86 years old. She asked my sister and I to take her to urgent care and a doctor last week and this one. She has not seen a doctor in 50-years so it was shocking to all of us. she must be really sick. she was diagnosed with bronchitis and given meds. but she doesn't like taking them so she stopped before she was supposed to. the doctor understood her desire to take fewer meds and gave her some new ones to try. If she still feels badly next week, she should fill a new rx for an antibiotic - she doesn't need to see him again unless she wants to.
At first, I was unhappy about this approach, but now I get it. She is 86 and doesn't want to change her life too much. she gets to do that. we have no doubt that she is perfectly sane -- so that is not an issue. we just need to support her as best that we can.
I also have a potentially lucrative business opportunity which takes my time and attention and stress.
The weather is cold and we have many days of grey skies. I need to be careful with my own health. Depression is always just a step away. and of course I really don't want to get the flu or a cold! Sigh. At least i am still takng my deep water running class twice a week.
So I have a lot on my mind at the beginning of this year. But all i can do is take one day at a time.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Happy New Year!
Here is my night on the eve of a new year:
champagne, lobster...
and beep, beep, beep
me: what does that beep mean?
Tom: I'm low
Me: what's your number?
Tom: 50, but I just had some juice,I'll be fine
Me: OK, so I'll get dinner ready
Tom: No, not yet. I'm not hungry.
Me: ok, when do you want to eat?
Tom: I'll let you know when
Me: :-\
champagne, lobster...
and beep, beep, beep
me: what does that beep mean?
Tom: I'm low
Me: what's your number?
Tom: 50, but I just had some juice,I'll be fine
Me: OK, so I'll get dinner ready
Tom: No, not yet. I'm not hungry.
Me: ok, when do you want to eat?
Tom: I'll let you know when
Me: :-\
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Everday Lows and now highs
Is this trend changing or I just notice it more?
In one sense things are better. About 20 years ago, Tom suffered from severe low sugar episodes around 2 am. His reponse was physical and scary.
Now, for the last 5 or 6 years, his lows are not so dramatic -- the continuous glucose monitor notifies him (and me) when his sugar is going low. Se for the most part, they are caught before they get to that extreme.
On the other hand, they occur almost like clockwork when he gets home from work -- 6ish. His doctor, his dietician, and I all tell him that he needs some carbs in the late afternoon. But he complains that he is just not hungry and does not want to eat. (I believe he is also worried about going too high.)
Regardless we handle it differently now -- he is just grumpy and I don't react so strongly either. I simply hand him a glass of juice and start making dinner.
Not good, but manageable.
Now he is experiencing more significant episodes of high sugar. Or is it just that I know about it more often due the cgm -- and Tom lets me in a bit more, telling me what the beeping is telling him.
Last night we had a big family dinner at our house and I heard beeping from his equipment for hours. I don't think anyone else heard it or if they did they didn't know what it was. At one point, someone asked me if the microwave was beeping. It wasn't but I don't whether it was Tom's cgm or his pump -- and he wasn't sharing any information with me. He also didn't seem to be doing anything about it.
None of this is the scary episodes of yesteryear -- but have almost become one of the annoyances of daily living. I know, I know, imagine how much worse it is for him! the difference is that he has control over what to do about it and I don't. I try very hard to separate myself from the need for response and/or arguing about it
This is the life of a "compliant" diabetic's wife. Tom is very skinny now -- while some of us try to fend off the extra pounds that come with eating yummy food, he simply says he is not hungry and doesn't eat. AND he is getting so much fussier about what he eats. Right now I am making two vegetables for dinner one for me and one for him (his is always the same salad every night). I won't be surprised that there will come a day where I make two main dishes one for me and a different one for him. I am not saying that the salads aren't healthy but they are so bland and very boring. AND, they are always cold - sometimes I like hot veggies, especially when it is cold outside.
Ok, that is the end of my tirade.
Regardless of all of that, life is going along nice and smooth. I relish these days when we are boringly quiet.
Best of the season,,
Tom's Wife
In one sense things are better. About 20 years ago, Tom suffered from severe low sugar episodes around 2 am. His reponse was physical and scary.
Now, for the last 5 or 6 years, his lows are not so dramatic -- the continuous glucose monitor notifies him (and me) when his sugar is going low. Se for the most part, they are caught before they get to that extreme.
On the other hand, they occur almost like clockwork when he gets home from work -- 6ish. His doctor, his dietician, and I all tell him that he needs some carbs in the late afternoon. But he complains that he is just not hungry and does not want to eat. (I believe he is also worried about going too high.)
Regardless we handle it differently now -- he is just grumpy and I don't react so strongly either. I simply hand him a glass of juice and start making dinner.
Not good, but manageable.
Now he is experiencing more significant episodes of high sugar. Or is it just that I know about it more often due the cgm -- and Tom lets me in a bit more, telling me what the beeping is telling him.
Last night we had a big family dinner at our house and I heard beeping from his equipment for hours. I don't think anyone else heard it or if they did they didn't know what it was. At one point, someone asked me if the microwave was beeping. It wasn't but I don't whether it was Tom's cgm or his pump -- and he wasn't sharing any information with me. He also didn't seem to be doing anything about it.
None of this is the scary episodes of yesteryear -- but have almost become one of the annoyances of daily living. I know, I know, imagine how much worse it is for him! the difference is that he has control over what to do about it and I don't. I try very hard to separate myself from the need for response and/or arguing about it
This is the life of a "compliant" diabetic's wife. Tom is very skinny now -- while some of us try to fend off the extra pounds that come with eating yummy food, he simply says he is not hungry and doesn't eat. AND he is getting so much fussier about what he eats. Right now I am making two vegetables for dinner one for me and one for him (his is always the same salad every night). I won't be surprised that there will come a day where I make two main dishes one for me and a different one for him. I am not saying that the salads aren't healthy but they are so bland and very boring. AND, they are always cold - sometimes I like hot veggies, especially when it is cold outside.
Ok, that is the end of my tirade.
Regardless of all of that, life is going along nice and smooth. I relish these days when we are boringly quiet.
Best of the season,,
Tom's Wife
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Life - rambling about my schedule
My life these days alternates between crazy busy, supporting someone else's goals (that's ok), working on one of my projects, and times like now. I am alone in the house and it is very nicely quiet. I am having a bit of a struggle getting started.
since its grey and rainy, i would like to get back in bed and read a book. but I do have some driving around to do today. and the list of things around the house that I want to get done, just isn't going anywhere. Most are so big that getting is started is a bit intimidating. I know, one small step at a time, but on days like this where I have the time, i just don't feel like it.
there are no bad consequences of my not getting these things done except for the fact that they are still there and I still want that garage cleaned out and the bedroom I use for projects -- well its just a mess, no projects there until I get it cleaned up.
I really struggle between just being ok with being lazy and wanting to get this stuff started. I worry that this could become a "bad' habit -- this doing nothing stuff.
and then again, I know that its not my personality to stay "hidden" for too long
I am busy with the part-time work I am doing. I don't have much control about when it hits my email -- This week I did no more than answer a few emails and talk on the phone for an hour or two, last week I spent 4 very long days on it. who knows whats up for next week..
The work is good, I am not complaining that I have to do it. AND, I am learning a good lesson about someone else leading and me being all about support. My colleague and I don't agree on everything but its essentially his project so I do my job and walk away at the end of the day. I work from home and pretty much set my own hours.
Tom continues to get low just about every evening between 6 and 7 (maybe earlier but that's when he gets home and I see him). He refuses to eat dinner earlier, complains if he has to drink too much juice since that will spoil his appetite, and appears to think its no big deal. But his monitor often says something between 55 and 70. I have seen it lower but not very often. He is getting pickier with what he eats and refuses to eat anything that looks like a carb (bread, pasta, potato, breadcrumbs on a casserole...) I am doing my best not to worry about it because his doctors tell him he is healthy and really, there is nothing I can do about it anyway. and yet, clearly it is on my mind quite often.
so having said all that I think i will read the paper and drink my coffee until I have to leave to pick someone up in a half hour.
It felt good to write all of that out.....
since its grey and rainy, i would like to get back in bed and read a book. but I do have some driving around to do today. and the list of things around the house that I want to get done, just isn't going anywhere. Most are so big that getting is started is a bit intimidating. I know, one small step at a time, but on days like this where I have the time, i just don't feel like it.
there are no bad consequences of my not getting these things done except for the fact that they are still there and I still want that garage cleaned out and the bedroom I use for projects -- well its just a mess, no projects there until I get it cleaned up.
I really struggle between just being ok with being lazy and wanting to get this stuff started. I worry that this could become a "bad' habit -- this doing nothing stuff.
and then again, I know that its not my personality to stay "hidden" for too long
I am busy with the part-time work I am doing. I don't have much control about when it hits my email -- This week I did no more than answer a few emails and talk on the phone for an hour or two, last week I spent 4 very long days on it. who knows whats up for next week..
The work is good, I am not complaining that I have to do it. AND, I am learning a good lesson about someone else leading and me being all about support. My colleague and I don't agree on everything but its essentially his project so I do my job and walk away at the end of the day. I work from home and pretty much set my own hours.
Tom continues to get low just about every evening between 6 and 7 (maybe earlier but that's when he gets home and I see him). He refuses to eat dinner earlier, complains if he has to drink too much juice since that will spoil his appetite, and appears to think its no big deal. But his monitor often says something between 55 and 70. I have seen it lower but not very often. He is getting pickier with what he eats and refuses to eat anything that looks like a carb (bread, pasta, potato, breadcrumbs on a casserole...) I am doing my best not to worry about it because his doctors tell him he is healthy and really, there is nothing I can do about it anyway. and yet, clearly it is on my mind quite often.
so having said all that I think i will read the paper and drink my coffee until I have to leave to pick someone up in a half hour.
It felt good to write all of that out.....
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Its November 2015!
Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. All is good here.
After about 6 months of practice retirement, I am working again.
But its different this time and its by choice.
Its not that I didn't LOVE retirement.
But one of those opportunities was offered to me and it was too good to turn down.
This work is part time (on my schedule) and I work from home -- most importantly I don't have to sell anything. I never liked that part of work -- to my boss, to customers, to co workers. you know the drill. I just wanted to do my analyses and put together the meat of a report. Then it was up to others to make the report pretty and convince clients that this was so good that they need more.
AND, the pay is very good. Since I want to do much more travel, its working out well. I set aside almost all of my income (we can live on my husband's salary). We only need my money for larger things like home repairs, :( vacations, taxes, investments.
I guess its a sign of age, but we seem to keep experiencing health issues -- mostly minor, but more frequently than earlier in our lives. For me, just minor things: strep throat, PT for my bad ankle, a scratched cornea -- and I had a sleep study done. They decided that I have apnea (no kidding) and now the insurance company will let me get a dental appliance to help me breath better as I sleep.
Tom on the other hand, has been hospitalized twice this year. The first time he was throwing up and super dizzy. The emergency room doctor thought he had a brain tumor. So frightening It turned out to be a very severe case of vertigo and the neurologist fixed it in three minutes. The hospital treatment was lousy and Tom had to demand to see the neurologist. Otherwise, who knows where he would be today.
His second trip was when I was out of town. Over labor day weekend, he had been doing a bunch of yard work. On Tuesday he woke up with an irritating itchy bump behind his knee. By the time he got home from work, he decided it needed to be checked on because it was much bigger and much redder. He went to urgent care and they took one look at it and sent him to the ER. It took them three days and 4 different IV antibiotics before they would send him home. And then it was with a PIC line so that he could continue to give himself the IV antibiotic for another 5 days. by the way, they never actually diagnosed the case of the infection.
All is well now, but both events were a bit scary.
On the other hand, I have had quite a bit of vacation time this year :) Florida two times, the beach in Maryland once, and then the "Mayan Riviera" outside of Cancun, Mexico. All of it was fun (except when I had to leave the beach early because of Tom's 2nd hospital visit) but nothing phenomenal. That will be next year when we go to Israel for 2 weeks. SOOOO excited.
So I think that wraps up my year so far. I will try to do a better job of posting and figure out how to allow for comments from others (thanks DW for letting me know).
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. All is good here.
After about 6 months of practice retirement, I am working again.
But its different this time and its by choice.
Its not that I didn't LOVE retirement.
But one of those opportunities was offered to me and it was too good to turn down.
This work is part time (on my schedule) and I work from home -- most importantly I don't have to sell anything. I never liked that part of work -- to my boss, to customers, to co workers. you know the drill. I just wanted to do my analyses and put together the meat of a report. Then it was up to others to make the report pretty and convince clients that this was so good that they need more.
AND, the pay is very good. Since I want to do much more travel, its working out well. I set aside almost all of my income (we can live on my husband's salary). We only need my money for larger things like home repairs, :( vacations, taxes, investments.
I guess its a sign of age, but we seem to keep experiencing health issues -- mostly minor, but more frequently than earlier in our lives. For me, just minor things: strep throat, PT for my bad ankle, a scratched cornea -- and I had a sleep study done. They decided that I have apnea (no kidding) and now the insurance company will let me get a dental appliance to help me breath better as I sleep.
Tom on the other hand, has been hospitalized twice this year. The first time he was throwing up and super dizzy. The emergency room doctor thought he had a brain tumor. So frightening It turned out to be a very severe case of vertigo and the neurologist fixed it in three minutes. The hospital treatment was lousy and Tom had to demand to see the neurologist. Otherwise, who knows where he would be today.
His second trip was when I was out of town. Over labor day weekend, he had been doing a bunch of yard work. On Tuesday he woke up with an irritating itchy bump behind his knee. By the time he got home from work, he decided it needed to be checked on because it was much bigger and much redder. He went to urgent care and they took one look at it and sent him to the ER. It took them three days and 4 different IV antibiotics before they would send him home. And then it was with a PIC line so that he could continue to give himself the IV antibiotic for another 5 days. by the way, they never actually diagnosed the case of the infection.
All is well now, but both events were a bit scary.
On the other hand, I have had quite a bit of vacation time this year :) Florida two times, the beach in Maryland once, and then the "Mayan Riviera" outside of Cancun, Mexico. All of it was fun (except when I had to leave the beach early because of Tom's 2nd hospital visit) but nothing phenomenal. That will be next year when we go to Israel for 2 weeks. SOOOO excited.
So I think that wraps up my year so far. I will try to do a better job of posting and figure out how to allow for comments from others (thanks DW for letting me know).