we are getting ready for the vacation of our lives, going to Israel for 10 days. Tom is leving so much to me while he works. but he still comes every night with frighteningly low blood sugar.
of course i am worried about what will happen when we are so far from home. we will be on a tour most of the time so I won't be alone, but I am still concerned.
Just when I was hoping things would be getting better....
Monday, May 9, 2016
Thursday, March 3, 2016
You would think I could accept it by now
there is just no talking to Tom.
EVERY DAY, he comes home and by the time he sits down with me, his glucose count is near 50!!!
I want to deal with it better, but it upsets me so much.
last week when everything was calm and he was in the normal range, i tried to talk to him.
reminding him of the daily occurrence, of the fact thay his doc instructed him to eat a snack (a real one, not candy) he just pretends to be helpless.
of course that angered me
he simply won't address this.
I should go take a walk, i should accept his choices.
but it is so distressing.
ok, i feel better.
on to my own activities for the evening
EVERY DAY, he comes home and by the time he sits down with me, his glucose count is near 50!!!
I want to deal with it better, but it upsets me so much.
last week when everything was calm and he was in the normal range, i tried to talk to him.
reminding him of the daily occurrence, of the fact thay his doc instructed him to eat a snack (a real one, not candy) he just pretends to be helpless.
of course that angered me
he simply won't address this.
I should go take a walk, i should accept his choices.
but it is so distressing.
ok, i feel better.
on to my own activities for the evening
Monday, February 22, 2016
This feels familiar
dinner time, Tom's feet are "dancing" a sure sign that his sugar is low. he is doing nothing wrong, but my stress level just jumped 200%
sigh
sigh
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
January Blues
Its February and I have been sick (some virus cold or flu) for almost a month. I have been to a doctor three times and while I am better, I am not great. Still sleeping a lot -- 12 hours a night! and while my cough is better, it is not gone. Sigh, I am tired of this. I got a flu shot and exercise and eat well and I don't hang out with kids.
Tom is doing the same, good most of the time but going low in the early evening. He just got a new pump and CGM -- there are some adjustments and he gets grumpy about the ones that he doesn't like, but it will be fine once he gets used to it.
Other than that exactly nothing is going on in my life except the normal. I am working on having a better outlook and thinking healthy thoughts.
Tom is doing the same, good most of the time but going low in the early evening. He just got a new pump and CGM -- there are some adjustments and he gets grumpy about the ones that he doesn't like, but it will be fine once he gets used to it.
Other than that exactly nothing is going on in my life except the normal. I am working on having a better outlook and thinking healthy thoughts.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Happy New Year and all the stress that comes with it
The holidays are over and now that its back to real life, its looking to be a bad year for me.
Tom continues his daily low blood sugar time right before dinner and sometimes later again. how does he manage at work?
My 86-year old uncle in Denver is not likely to live through the end of the year. My family is VERY close, and my cousins and I talk often. So that will be very sad.
My brother in law (66 years old) has cancer and is not doing well; back in the hospital. No sure how long he has.
Then there is my 90 year old mother-in-law who has breathing and walking problems. Not sure how much longer she will be able to stay in her home. Fortunately she pre-paid for next-level care and she is in North Carolina, so I don't have to participate directly in her care. whew!
AND, my mom who is 86 years old. She asked my sister and I to take her to urgent care and a doctor last week and this one. She has not seen a doctor in 50-years so it was shocking to all of us. she must be really sick. she was diagnosed with bronchitis and given meds. but she doesn't like taking them so she stopped before she was supposed to. the doctor understood her desire to take fewer meds and gave her some new ones to try. If she still feels badly next week, she should fill a new rx for an antibiotic - she doesn't need to see him again unless she wants to.
At first, I was unhappy about this approach, but now I get it. She is 86 and doesn't want to change her life too much. she gets to do that. we have no doubt that she is perfectly sane -- so that is not an issue. we just need to support her as best that we can.
I also have a potentially lucrative business opportunity which takes my time and attention and stress.
The weather is cold and we have many days of grey skies. I need to be careful with my own health. Depression is always just a step away. and of course I really don't want to get the flu or a cold! Sigh. At least i am still takng my deep water running class twice a week.
So I have a lot on my mind at the beginning of this year. But all i can do is take one day at a time.
Tom continues his daily low blood sugar time right before dinner and sometimes later again. how does he manage at work?
My 86-year old uncle in Denver is not likely to live through the end of the year. My family is VERY close, and my cousins and I talk often. So that will be very sad.
My brother in law (66 years old) has cancer and is not doing well; back in the hospital. No sure how long he has.
Then there is my 90 year old mother-in-law who has breathing and walking problems. Not sure how much longer she will be able to stay in her home. Fortunately she pre-paid for next-level care and she is in North Carolina, so I don't have to participate directly in her care. whew!
AND, my mom who is 86 years old. She asked my sister and I to take her to urgent care and a doctor last week and this one. She has not seen a doctor in 50-years so it was shocking to all of us. she must be really sick. she was diagnosed with bronchitis and given meds. but she doesn't like taking them so she stopped before she was supposed to. the doctor understood her desire to take fewer meds and gave her some new ones to try. If she still feels badly next week, she should fill a new rx for an antibiotic - she doesn't need to see him again unless she wants to.
At first, I was unhappy about this approach, but now I get it. She is 86 and doesn't want to change her life too much. she gets to do that. we have no doubt that she is perfectly sane -- so that is not an issue. we just need to support her as best that we can.
I also have a potentially lucrative business opportunity which takes my time and attention and stress.
The weather is cold and we have many days of grey skies. I need to be careful with my own health. Depression is always just a step away. and of course I really don't want to get the flu or a cold! Sigh. At least i am still takng my deep water running class twice a week.
So I have a lot on my mind at the beginning of this year. But all i can do is take one day at a time.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Happy New Year!
Here is my night on the eve of a new year:
champagne, lobster...
and beep, beep, beep
me: what does that beep mean?
Tom: I'm low
Me: what's your number?
Tom: 50, but I just had some juice,I'll be fine
Me: OK, so I'll get dinner ready
Tom: No, not yet. I'm not hungry.
Me: ok, when do you want to eat?
Tom: I'll let you know when
Me: :-\
champagne, lobster...
and beep, beep, beep
me: what does that beep mean?
Tom: I'm low
Me: what's your number?
Tom: 50, but I just had some juice,I'll be fine
Me: OK, so I'll get dinner ready
Tom: No, not yet. I'm not hungry.
Me: ok, when do you want to eat?
Tom: I'll let you know when
Me: :-\
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Everday Lows and now highs
Is this trend changing or I just notice it more?
In one sense things are better. About 20 years ago, Tom suffered from severe low sugar episodes around 2 am. His reponse was physical and scary.
Now, for the last 5 or 6 years, his lows are not so dramatic -- the continuous glucose monitor notifies him (and me) when his sugar is going low. Se for the most part, they are caught before they get to that extreme.
On the other hand, they occur almost like clockwork when he gets home from work -- 6ish. His doctor, his dietician, and I all tell him that he needs some carbs in the late afternoon. But he complains that he is just not hungry and does not want to eat. (I believe he is also worried about going too high.)
Regardless we handle it differently now -- he is just grumpy and I don't react so strongly either. I simply hand him a glass of juice and start making dinner.
Not good, but manageable.
Now he is experiencing more significant episodes of high sugar. Or is it just that I know about it more often due the cgm -- and Tom lets me in a bit more, telling me what the beeping is telling him.
Last night we had a big family dinner at our house and I heard beeping from his equipment for hours. I don't think anyone else heard it or if they did they didn't know what it was. At one point, someone asked me if the microwave was beeping. It wasn't but I don't whether it was Tom's cgm or his pump -- and he wasn't sharing any information with me. He also didn't seem to be doing anything about it.
None of this is the scary episodes of yesteryear -- but have almost become one of the annoyances of daily living. I know, I know, imagine how much worse it is for him! the difference is that he has control over what to do about it and I don't. I try very hard to separate myself from the need for response and/or arguing about it
This is the life of a "compliant" diabetic's wife. Tom is very skinny now -- while some of us try to fend off the extra pounds that come with eating yummy food, he simply says he is not hungry and doesn't eat. AND he is getting so much fussier about what he eats. Right now I am making two vegetables for dinner one for me and one for him (his is always the same salad every night). I won't be surprised that there will come a day where I make two main dishes one for me and a different one for him. I am not saying that the salads aren't healthy but they are so bland and very boring. AND, they are always cold - sometimes I like hot veggies, especially when it is cold outside.
Ok, that is the end of my tirade.
Regardless of all of that, life is going along nice and smooth. I relish these days when we are boringly quiet.
Best of the season,,
Tom's Wife
In one sense things are better. About 20 years ago, Tom suffered from severe low sugar episodes around 2 am. His reponse was physical and scary.
Now, for the last 5 or 6 years, his lows are not so dramatic -- the continuous glucose monitor notifies him (and me) when his sugar is going low. Se for the most part, they are caught before they get to that extreme.
On the other hand, they occur almost like clockwork when he gets home from work -- 6ish. His doctor, his dietician, and I all tell him that he needs some carbs in the late afternoon. But he complains that he is just not hungry and does not want to eat. (I believe he is also worried about going too high.)
Regardless we handle it differently now -- he is just grumpy and I don't react so strongly either. I simply hand him a glass of juice and start making dinner.
Not good, but manageable.
Now he is experiencing more significant episodes of high sugar. Or is it just that I know about it more often due the cgm -- and Tom lets me in a bit more, telling me what the beeping is telling him.
Last night we had a big family dinner at our house and I heard beeping from his equipment for hours. I don't think anyone else heard it or if they did they didn't know what it was. At one point, someone asked me if the microwave was beeping. It wasn't but I don't whether it was Tom's cgm or his pump -- and he wasn't sharing any information with me. He also didn't seem to be doing anything about it.
None of this is the scary episodes of yesteryear -- but have almost become one of the annoyances of daily living. I know, I know, imagine how much worse it is for him! the difference is that he has control over what to do about it and I don't. I try very hard to separate myself from the need for response and/or arguing about it
This is the life of a "compliant" diabetic's wife. Tom is very skinny now -- while some of us try to fend off the extra pounds that come with eating yummy food, he simply says he is not hungry and doesn't eat. AND he is getting so much fussier about what he eats. Right now I am making two vegetables for dinner one for me and one for him (his is always the same salad every night). I won't be surprised that there will come a day where I make two main dishes one for me and a different one for him. I am not saying that the salads aren't healthy but they are so bland and very boring. AND, they are always cold - sometimes I like hot veggies, especially when it is cold outside.
Ok, that is the end of my tirade.
Regardless of all of that, life is going along nice and smooth. I relish these days when we are boringly quiet.
Best of the season,,
Tom's Wife